I guess it's because I know her so well that what she said is bothering me so much. Long story short, she's mad at God for not giving her everything she wants in life. I really didn't know how to address this. I could say "Oh honey, everything is going to turn out how you want in the end. . . you deserve everything you want in life, etc." like all her other friends are doing. Or, I could call her, but then I wouldn't know if I had her full attention and on top of that, she's very good at talking. Much better than I am. I can write like a champ but when it comes to carrying on a conversation, I'm the village idiot. So I didn't call. Texts can be too easily ignored and wiped from memory. Same with emails. I could post on her wall or comment on said blog, but I thought that might be a little more direct than I wanted. Here friend, I'm going to tell you what I think about this and the whole world is going to know that I'm putting you in your place. . . . . ummmm . . . no. Now I know what you're thinking. You assume I'm doing the same thing by responding with my own blog, but that's not what I'm doing. I'm not naming names, so the only one who will know who I'm referring to is that person themselves. Also, by posting my own blog, those who may be going through the same thing can hear my soap box rant and take what they want from it. I'm doing the world a favor : )
So here goes. The thing that gets me the most is that my friend and I were raised in the same church, so I know we learned all the same things. We learned that God has a plan for us, and though that plan may not be the same as our own plan, it's what's best for us. Also, if you intentionally go against God's plan, he's not going to spare the rod for long. No one knows this better than I do. Apparently, the only way I learn anything is with a swift kick in the butt. Lie - get caught. Drink - get alcohol poisoning. Pre-marital sex - get pregnant. The list goes on and on. Yes, my life has been anything but easy, but that's all because I've had to deal with the consequences of my actions/choices and I've owned up to that. But this isn't about me and I'm getting off track. I think the best way to address the issue at hand is with a point by point analysis:
1) No one is invincible. Some people are confident, patient or have some other characteristic that helps them better deal with difficult situations, but still, no one is invincible.
2) Yes, you have a controlling personality, and I'm glad you said that because, after all, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem in the first place : )
3) Bargaining with God is never ok . . . ever. That's like putting you and Him on the same level.
4) This is the part I wish I could just cut and paste directly from the blog, but I'll be nice and just retort. You can't pray every night for God to give you everything you want in life. Well, you can, but that's the fastest and surest way to disappointment. I used to teach a pre-school Sunday school class and one of the first things they learned was how to pray. If you are in need of a refresher course, the Bible is full of helpful hints. Lesson #1 - be thankful for everything you've been given because you don't deserve any of it. Lesson #2 - don't tell God what you think you need. He knows what you need. And he'll give it to you when and how He sees fit. You can ask for strength, patience, guidance, wisdom, and that His will be done in your life, but that's about it. Lesson #3 - close with more thanks. Thanks for the air we breath, the sun that shines and for sending your only Son to die so that we might be able to spend eternity in Heaven.
5) NO ONE IS WORTHY OF ANYTHING! "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23 I don't want to seem like I'm preaching, because like I said earlier, I've messed up more times than I care to mention. But I think this is the part that gets me riled up more than any other part of the blog. You don't know what else you can do to prove to God that you're worthy of the things you want and believe you deserve. (Here comes my soap box moment) You've got your knickers in a twist because God hasn't dropped "Mr. Perfect" in your lap . . . literally. Sweetheart, I'm sure God's man for you has crossed your path more than a few times, but you were so wrapped up in who you thought was right for you (even though God did everything He possibly could to remove that man . . . I use that term loosely . . . from your life. Short of killing him of course), that you completely ignored what was right in front of you. There does come a point where God decides He's tired of messing with it, and lets Mr. Right move on to another potential Mrs. Right. On the topic of kids, God did you a huge favor. I'm very thankful you didn't end up pregnant with Mr. Wrong's baby. It would only mean a life permanently attached to his. A life of pain and heartache, of stress and continuous disappointment. Having a baby doesn't "fix" anything. Having a baby outside of marriage just because you think it will make YOUR life better is just selfish. I love my kids and I wouldn't trade them for all the money and freedom in the world, but for someone who is always saying they're broke when they make way more money than I do, for someone who's always complaining about being tired and not having enough time for themselves and for someone who expects the whole world to revolve around them, having a baby fixes nothing. In fact, it would only make you a thousand times more miserable. Especially having to do it on your own. God hasn't blessed you with a child yet because He knows your not ready. He knows you need to grow up. And trying to get preggers "on your own" . . . without a father and without THE Father . . . not gonna happen. No one DESERVES a child. A child is a blessing and a gift.
6) Death happens. Too blunt? Maybe, but it's the truth. My grandmother is very old, too. And as much as I want her to be around forever so that my kids will get to have as much fun with her as I did, I know that the circle of life takes it's course with everyone. I'm just thankful she's been around as long as she has, and you should be thankful for that, too. Instead of telling God to make her better so she can live forever, thank Him for the time you've had with her and ask Him to put His hand on her and take away her pain. If that means she miraculously gets better and lives another ten years, awesome! If that means she passes in her sleep tomorrow, well that's ok too. Because what's not ok is you making her feel guilty about dieing and adding to her suffering. Don't blame God for her death, thank him for the close to 30 years you've had with her. And be happy, because she'll be having a party and dancing her tush off in Heaven!
7) Cancer happens. Does God intentionally give people cancer? No, I don't think so. But I do know that He doesn't give us things we can't handle. Moms get cancer. Brothers get cancer. Best friends get cancer. Even I have cancer (not the full blown kind, but it's on its way). I'm not down-playing the seriousness of the disease, but I am saying that God didn't create cancer as a way to piss you off. He didn't wake up one morning and say "Hmmm, how can I ruin her life today? I know! I'll give someone she loves CANCER!" Nope, doesn't work that way. People deal with cancer all the time, and those who survive it and those who continue to thrive even though they may be terminal, are the ones who acknowledge that they have cancer, but they decide not to sit around and pout about it. They and their families face it head on. They embrace the life they've been given and they make the most of every moment. They focus their energy on finding and funding a cure, instead of focusing on feeling sorry for themselves. I hope and pray for healing for your loved one, but don't be mad at God. Use it as an opportunity to better your life and the lives of others.
I feel like I've lectured long enough, but I do have one more thing to say. You say you try and try to get what you want, only to be disappointed. Well quit trying. Quit thinking about all the things you don't have and be thankful for what you do have. The Bible says that we are all servants. Servants to the sick, the needy, the homeless and helpless. True happiness is found in service to others. True disappointment is found in service to oneself. You're right, life isn't fair. But we're all better because of it.
No comments:
Post a Comment