SCREAM

So a few weeks ago I was cast in the role of Charlie Brown's school teacher in Peanuts. I've been playing the role daily. Unfortunately, no one told me this. I've been talking and talking and talking and all that's been coming out is "Wha wha wha wha.... wha wha wha." I feel honored to have been given the opportunity to play this iconic character, but it would have been much less frustrating if someone had informed me before dubbing the wha wha's over my actual words.

When I decided to add the title of "homeschooler" to my long list of domestic responsibilities, I had no idea it would be so exhausting. Difficult . . . . yes. Time consuming . . . . very much so. I fully expected there to be bad days and good. I was completely aware that I would be taking what little "me time" I had and chucking it out the window. I also knew that having a two year old around wasn't going to simplify anything. I worked very hard at being realistic from the start. While I was excited about the prospect of teaching my children what, how, when and where I wanted to, I did my best to keep my feet firmly planted in the idea that homeschool definitely means freedom, but it also ties you down. And I was totally okay with that.

However, I was completely unprepared for the day when my kids would master the ability to block out everything I say. And it's not just ignoring, because that's something I can deal with. If I tell someone to pick up their shoes and ten minutes later I trip over said shoes, that's okay. Shoes can be hidden in undisclosed locations until the aforementioned child desperately needs them in order to play with friends or attend a scout meeting. Don't feel like picking up your toys when I ask? That's okay, too! Toys like to go on adventures. Sadly, they often wonder into the uncharted waters of the Bermuda Triangle (aka the garage sale box in the shed). But this new type of blockade I'm fighting is perplexing. If you want to get done with your math so that you can do art or read, why not just listen to good ole' Mom and do it how she showed you? Why sit there and stare at the page, accomplishing absolutely nothing all because the three times I explained it, you chose not to listen. You know that every day at 2:45 the other neighborhood kids are coming home from school. You know that at 3, you're allowed (if it's not STILL raining) to go outside and play with the other neighborhood kids. So why, may I ask, are you still sulking at 2:15 about having to do your botany project when you've had all day to finish it? In fact, if you hadn't ignored me when I was physically showing you how to do it, and if you hadn't ignored me when I was telling you an hour had passed and you hadn't made progress, and if you hadn't ignored me when I told you that you wouldn't be getting lunch until you at least TRIED to finish, you'd be on your way out the door right now! AUGH!

Don't get me wrong, I know that my kids won't understand everything all the time. As a mom, I've been blessed with the ability to know the difference between when they genuinely don't understand something and when they're stonewalling me. When they really don't get it, I am very patient (even though sometimes it's hard to be with an incredibly stubborn 9 year old girl), and I do everything in my power to make it easier for them to understand what it is that they need to be doing. Contrary to how most of this post sounds, they've actually been doing very well with homeschooling. Luke is blazing through every subject and usually finishes an entire days work in just a couple hours. Annabelle is getting there, but like me, she has a hard time with math. It takes her a little longer to grasp new ideas and she has a hard time with memorization of things like multiplication tables. I'm trying to be creative and come up with new ways to help her learn, but the ugly truth is that basics are basics and if she ever wants to attend college, she'll have to take the SAT and college algebra. So we soldier on . . . .

But this new behavior is wearing me out. I don't mind repeating myself because you didn't quite fully comprehend when I explained it the first time, but having to say the same things over and over and over because you chose not to hear me is something else all together. I blame the weather. The rain is my enemy at this point. It's been raining for months on end and the kids (and frankly myself, too) are getting cabin fever. We would all gladly walk over hot coals if it meant getting out of the house for a few days. The sun finally came out last Friday and stayed for about 24 hours. We soaked up every possible minute of it. But much to every one's dismay, it retreated and the rain returned and the forecast for the rest of the week is dark and damp.

The best thing about homeschooling is that it doesn't have to have much structure. You don't have to sit in a desk all day. Learning can be an adventure! But the most difficult thing about homeschooling kids who have been chained to a desk for the first four years of their educational lives is helping them realize that you don't have to go to a school building or work out of books all day in order to learn. Truthfully, it's hard to teach this to adults, too. Kids need to experience life, not just learn about it.

One day, my kids will understand that anyone, including their mother, can teach. That a fancy degree from fancy college doesn't make you a good teacher, nor does the absence of a fancy degree make you a bad one . . . or not one at all. They'll understand that making pancakes, working in the garden, going to the art museum and playing football are all educational. When someone asks them why they're at the grocery store instead of in school, they'll reply, "This is math class." Until then, we'll battle and butt heads, and I'll continue to do my best to shrug off the nay-sayers when my kids respond to the question about what they did that day with, "Nothing. Mom made us run errands."