The Rita Project

Several days ago, I was bustling through the grocery store picking up a few staple items...milk, bread, Irish creme Coffee Mate...before heading home for a relaxing afternoon with Chris and the kids. Suffice to say, I was much more focused on the items going in my basket and the text alerts coming from my phone (no doubt my husband wanting to know if I was "Done yet?") than the dizzying crowds of people around me. It's for this reason that I was somewhat startled when I turned away from the vast wall of cheese products and nearly crashed into an elderly gentleman that moved in next to me. I quickly apologized and started to walk off when I thought I heard him say, "I bet you used to be quite fetching."
I don't know what compelled me to turn around and say, "I'm sorry?" because I was fully aware of what he had said and assumed he meant it as an insult since I nearly flattened him in my mad dash. At the same time, the woman behind him turned with a mortified look on her face.
"I'm SO sorry," she said to me. Then she turned to the man and said,"Dad, that was horrible! Why would you say that?"
I, flustered though I may have been, shrugged it off and and tried to tell the woman that it was no big deal when the man blurted out, "Don't apologize for me, Mary. I meant it as a complement." Mary and I both paused, both apparently waiting for an explanation of how telling someone they USED to be fetching is a complement. The man, who had to have been in his late 80's, shuffled over to me and placed his hand on my arm. He took a deep breath and straightened his hunched shoulders as best he could, as though he was about to reveal to me some great truth that had been passed down through the ages. The throngs of people clamoring down the isles around the three of us seemed to disappear.
"My dear," he said softly, "you are a very attractive woman. You carry yourself well and dress modestly but with class, which is something most young ladies your age lack. But that is not what prompted me to say what I said."
His grip on my arm loosened, though I'm not sure if it was because he realized he was squeezing it a little harder than necessary, or if his strength gave out just a little. His gray eyes, contemplating, took in every detail of my face. Then, reassured, he continued.
"When I saw your face, your strawberry blond hair wistfully falling across your brow, it took my breath away. It took my back to the first time I saw Rita Hayworth on the big screen. Back before color and the sound was all crackly. I said USED to because, while you're still very pretty, you look tired. And strained. Like you've lost yourself."
At this point I didn't know if I should smile and thank him or just start crying and run away. His daughter, who had to have been about the same age as my mother and probably endured many shopping trips with her father recently, appeared totally flabbergasted. Apparently, she was considering running away as well.
Not sure of what to say next, I mustered up the strength to smile at the man and said, "Ten years of marriage, military life and three children tend to take a toll on a woman's vivacity. But thank you, because you've made my day."
He dropped his hand and his face seemed to become a little firmer as he tried to stand up completely straight. I got a strange feeling that I was about to be issued an order of some sorts. I was right.
"Young lady, your children are blessed every time you smile. If you have a daughter, she needs to see the you on the inside come out, that way she can aspire to it. If you have a son, he needs to see the kind of woman he would want to marry and raise a family with. Your husband should feel a sense of pride every time you walk into a room. I know that being a wife and mother, especially in the military, is a heavy burden to bear, but God has blessed you beyond measure. You owe it to yourself and, frankly, you owe it to the world, to take care of yourself and be the most amazing, confident, loving woman you can be. The world will be a much more beautiful place when you figure this out. And I won't have to say USED TO next time."
With that, his shoulders dropped, he turned towards his daughter and grabbing the cart he muttered, "Come on, Mary. My feet hurt." And he shuffled off down the isle. Mary shook her head and told me to have a lovely afternoon, then trotted off to catch up.

At first I didn't really know how to interpret what had just taken place. Did I need to go home and strap on my running shoes and start an all water and rice cakes diet? Did I need to save every nickel and dime possible and partake in a relaxing spa day to rejuvenate? Finally, after three sleepless nights, I think I have figured it out. I need to be happy.
I love my husband and my kids and our little life that we've created. I am very happy with where we are headed, but I can't say that I'm content with where I'm at. I need to find a way to take the time I need for myself and work it in with the time I want and need to spend with my family.
So, after three sleepless nights, I think I have figured it out. I am going to start a "Rita Project". I am going to find a way to lose weight, make time for things I enjoy while not taking away from family time, and learn to be a more confident and productive individual. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. Hold on to your hats boys.....and here's to Rita!