Eeyore, when all things are considered, is a sad and pathetic creature. The fact that Optimus Prime is his alter-ego does little to bolster my opinion of the sad, gray donkey. I always saw myself as more of a Piglet, always wishing to be more like Pooh. Oh, to posses the level of optimism that accompanies blissful ignorance.
I know, you want to know where the heck I plan on going with this. Well, while on my best day I might be a Piglet, here recently I've been very much an Eeyore. Case in point, check the time stamp on this blog posting. It will probably say something like 3:45am. That's if my hand doesn't cramp up from typing an entire blog on a cell phone. Winner.
This all started when I blew out my knee. Yes, the main reason I haven't posted in the last three months is because I tore my ACL skiing. Most people feel bad for me, but not me, I just feel completely embarassed. I'm supposed to be the one that knows how to ski, yet I was falling more than my husband who was only skiing for the second time in his life. People ask what run I was on when it happened then get this funny look on their face when I say Ute. Isn't that an easy one? Why yes, yes it is. And the reason my ACL completely disintegrated? Well, some say it's because of the deep powder and that my feet/skis went one way and the rest of me went another, others blame the skis for not coming off like they were supposed to, but I know the truth: it's because I'm so damn out of shape. You have to be in relatively decent physical condition to not get injured while skiing. I could pretend all I wanted when the snow was hard packed and I was doing a decent job digging in just using my extra weight, but I saw all these red flags start popping up everywhere when I fell 20ft into the first run the last time we went. Sirens started blaring in my head and warning signals flashed "You're Gonna Die!" in bright neon lights, but I spent a crap ton of money that day so I was going to make the most of it. One (partial) run, a ride down the mountain on a ski patrol sled, a trip to the ER, and an MRI later and I was a full-fledged handicap. No ACL left, tore my miniscus, cracked the head of my tibia, and had a bone bruise so deep I could practically feel it in my ankle. Apparently, after the first couple of falls, my lame, lazy, out of shape muscles just said, "Screw it! Every ligament for themselves!"
So long story short, that was February 29th and I still have an elephant knee. It won't straighten, it won't bend, and I can't walk on it for more than five minutes before my muscles start to feel like Jell-o. I know the doctor said that it would be six months or longer before I was back to normal, but I need to be normal now. I need to clean my house. I need to cook a healthy dinner for my family. I need to play with my kids. I need to spend quality time with my husband.
While the knee and all the embarrassment that goes along with it is enough, I then had to go and get myself a nasty little flu bug. The kind that nag at you for days, tormenting you by never revealing their true location, just bouncing around from your nose to your throat, becoming an ear ache, then a fever and body aches, then back to the throat again. It was bad enough that I was a gimp but now I have to be disease ridden as well? I'm not sure how much more of this I can stand. While the flu will have to run its course, the knee might just get a hack saw taken to it. My next post may be titled "Me and My Prostetic Leg."
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
New Year . . . New Me? Ha! Very funny.
Happy Friday the 13th everyone!
I know popular culture suggests we all make resolutions this time of year to change who we are for the better, but this year I'm not resolving to change who I am but rather figure out who I was in the first place.
Every year I vow to change this or that, to be a better mom, wife, teacher, Christian, person, etc. I work at all of these things for about a week, a month if things go well, then life happens and reality sets in and I get flustered with my failures and give up. It donned on me this year that I've been going about things all wrong. I'm trying to change to fit a certain mold that I most certainly am not meant to fit. Like my voluptuous rear end and cute jeans . . . . some things are just not meant to be.
But I do know who I am not. So that's where I'm going to start. Who knows, maybe by the end of the year, I will have figured life out and while others spend their 30's getting their real adult lives started, I'll be coasting on pure bliss : )
1) School Teacher - I have been mad at myself for the past year because I still feel like I haven't figured out the whole home schooling thing and as a consequence, I am failing my children. I know very few home school moms, but the ones I do know are fantastic. They're also college educated school teachers. They sit down in August and make lesson plans for the whole year. They spend their evenings grading papers and going over the next day's subject matter. I'm lucky if I grade my kids papers at all. Not because I don't care, but because I am sitting right next to them while they do it and correct as they go. I also plan as I go. I find out what's on the page at the same time as my kids. Yes, this has gotten me in a jam with big projects I didn't know were right around the corner, but the joy of home schooling is that if you're not prepared, put it off till you are. It's not going to kill anyone to get a day or two behind in Botany because you didn't have an empty coke bottle and two tons of potting soil on hand. While I have learned that I'm not a structured school teacher type, I've also learned that I'm not the awesome un-schooling type either. I'm pretty convinced the great un-schooling moms I know are from another planet. I can't fit an entire days worth or curriculum into a baking project or a walk to the park. Maybe it's my lack of higher education or just that I have a hard time making my brain work on their level all day long. I know it's not lack of creativity, just maybe lack of wanting my entire existence to revolve around making sure I can put a history lesson in sandwich making. Also, I like books. Books give me guidance because I know I would probably forget to teach my kids how to conjugate verbs and then they'd come at me with fire in their eyes when they get lower than fantastic SAT scores. Also, I like the 15 minutes I get to screw around on Pinterest while they work on their sentence structure. So, I'm not a school-at-home-er and I'm not an un-school-er. I'm in the middle somewhere and now all I need to do is figure out where and what that is.
2) Maid - One blogger I follow is a perfectly nice individual who usually posts craft ideas, recipes and fun things to do with your kids on rainy days. When you read through her posts she seems like super mom meets Martha Stewart meets Mother Theresa. But if you scroll down, you'll see a little headline that reads "People I Want to Punch in the Throat." Priceless.
I have the same list, though I don't post it on line and instead keep it in my head where no one can see it. I am going to post one, and that is the over enthusiastic house cleaners. The ones that claim they LOVE cleaning house. I have determined three things about these women:
a) They're liars. No one LOVES to clean, especially moms. Moms clean, then two minutes later everything that they've done has been undone. They have husbands who leave their dirty socks under the coffee table, sons who pee on the toilet seat, daughters that get nail polish on counters, dogs that shed mounds of hair, the list goes on. Liar, liar, pants on fire.
b) They're on something. And I want some.
c) They really do love to clean, and they spend all day doing it. If not, it's because their kids aren't allowed to bring toys or crayons out of their rooms which turns them into hermits, their husbands are afraid of what might happen if they leave their coat on the back of the chair instead of hanging it in the closet, and their guests feel like they can't touch or breath near anything for fear of smudging the shiny polished oak. Nope, not me at all.
Not only do I not love cleaning, I actually LOATHE it. Keeping a house clean with a husband, three kids and a dog is the definition of insanity. Every year I make a cleaning schedule for myself and every year it lasts a week or two. I can never get caught up and when I spend an entire day cleaning I feel guilty for ignoring my kids (who consequently have destroyed whatever room I've locked them in). So, I hate cleaning but I also hate a messy house. My cleaning resolution is to spend the half hour before my husband gets home cleaning up whatever mess we've made during that day, making the kids learn how to clean their own bathrooms and do their own laundry, and hiring a real maid to come in once or twice a month and do all the time-sucking stuff that makes me want to take up drinking.
3) Athlete - Yes, I pretended to be one in high school, but I never really liked sports. I liked volleyball, but mainly because it was the one thing I was better at than most the other girls. I hated running, hated lifting, hated that if I didn't run or lift I'd look like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man by the end of the month. I'm short, I have zero metabolism and hips that are perfect for delivering babies but terrible for losing weight. Thankfully my husband likes curves. Unfortunately, my curves are starting to get curves of their own and while I have the utmost respect for women who are proud of their bodies no matter what they look like, I am not. So here's my delimma. I can pretend that I love to work out, get a gym membership and quit because I don't have any kid free time to speak of while also pretending that I can live off of three celery sticks a day and quit because chips and salsa are just that good, or I can find a happy medium. I need to lose 30 lbs, but I'm not going to set a deadline. I'm just going to resolve to work at it, and when it happens it happens, as long as there's progress. I already eat a mostly vegan diet, so eating healthy isn't much of a change, I just need to eat more and eat earlier. I live off of four cups of coffee, an afternoon snack and a decent sized dinner. It's not good even if it is only 700 calories. I'm also getting an elliptical. I can do it while I watch the news in the morning and it won't kill me like a treadmill so I may actually stick to it. Here's hoping.
4) SAHM/HSM/WaM- If you follow family-related blogs, you'll interpret these to mean "stay at home mom", "home school mom" and "wife and mother". While I know technically I am all of these, I have a really hard time defining myself as any of them. I do envy those women who wear their SAHM title like a badge of honor. Their lives are filled with cupcakes, play dates and Starbucks. They drive mini vans and wear yoga pants . . . every day. They have routines and their kids and husbands are generally happy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of it. Except that it's not me. I have tried and tried to be these things, but no matter how fulfilled someone else might be, I am not. Though I know the world would fall apart if anything were to happen to me, I still feel like I'm not contributing or living up to my potential. So this year, instead of trying to be an acronym, I'm going to figure out what I really need to do to feel fulfilled. Not happy, because I really am truly happy, but instead not feeling like there's something missing. I'm going to finish my children's book, start a novel, make things, hopefully sell them, get involved in our new community, dabble in politics and do my best to give more.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Live Free or Die . . . and we're not dead . . . yet.
"This is no time for ceremony. The question before the House is one of awful moment to this country. For my own part, I consider it as nothing less than a question of freedom or slavery...It is only in this way that we can hope to arrive at truth, and fulfill the great responsibility which we hold to God and our country. Should I keep back my opinions at such a time, through fear of giving offence, I should consider myself as guilty of treason towards my country, and of an act of disloyalty toward the majesty of heaven, which I revere above all earthly kings."
This isn't the first time that I've written about politics and I can say with assurance that it won't be my last. While politics is more of a hobby for me than something I would ever pursue, I have to admit that recently the state of our government has churned that "raise your voice" feeling a person gets when they see something terribly wrong being done in broad daylight and everyone seems to be just standing around and letting it happen.
I call myself a moderate conservative, but really the only reason why I throw the word moderate in front is because to label yourself as just "conservative" has come to be interpreted as Westboro Baptist loving-confederate flag waving-abortion clinic burning-stealing from the poor to give to the rich-invade your country just because I can-puffy faced 70 year old white dude in a navy blue suit that looks like he might have a heart attack after climbing the capitol hill steps. Not me at all, even though I'm a true conservative in every sense of the word. I believe in small government, balanced budgets, owing nothing to no one (especially communists who devalue their own currency to screw the rest of the world), building a strong military but only using it if absolutely necessary, leaving things like abortion and gay marriage up to states and voters . . . the list goes on but you get the point.
The election of 2008 was a tough one. My girl, Hillary, didn't get the nod (yes, I'm a conservative, and John McCain was anything but conservative. And if your husband and most of your friends' husbands were in the military, you wouldn't have voted for him either) so I threw in my lot with Obama. Ugh. Lesson learned.
"Mr. President, it is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of that siren till she transforms us into beasts.
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past. . . There is no longer any room for hope. If we wish to be free, if we mean to preserve, inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending, if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained, we must fight!"
And fight we must, as conservatives, for history shows us that big government always fails.
"They tell us, sir, that we are weak; unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be the next week, or the next year? . . . Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance, by lying supinely on our backs, and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot? Sir, we are not weak if we make a proper use of those means which the God of nature hath placed in our power. {Millions} of people, armed in the holy cause of liberty, and in such a country as that which we possess, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us. Besides, sir, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just God who presides over the destinies of nations; and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us. The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. . . it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! The war is inevitable and let it come! I repeat it, sir, let it come."
Our battle is at hand, friends. But who should we choose to lead us? Again, the Republican party disappoints.
The process itself has become a joke. Herman Cain? Really? I'm reminded of the DiGiorno commercial where the weird kid is let into the party just because he brought the pizza.
And what about Buddy Roemer?
"Who's Buddy Roemer?" you ask. Well, let me tell you. All the other candidates are talking about how, when they're elected, one of the first things they'll do is overhaul the election process. Take big business out of Washington. Make it so that anyone can run, not just millionaires. And where does Buddy Roemer fit into all this? Well, first off, he's running for president . . . as a republican. WHAT?! But you've never heard of him? Of course you haven't. Because while all the others are talking about changing the system, Buddy is actually doing it. He won't accept annonymous campaign donations, he won't accept PAC money and is seeking to abolish Super PACs all together. What does this have to do with people not knowing he exists? Plain and simple: if you don't play by the corporate Washington rules, you can't play at all. Sure, his name is on the ballots, but you won't see him on the news because they all have corporate backers. You won't see him at debates because, in order to qualify to be on stage, you have to have raised $X million . . . in the week/month prior to the debate. The only way to do that is with corporate PAC money. So because Buddy actually practices what he preaches, he's not allowed to play. Now, if the others wanted to, they could change this. All they had to do is get together and say "We won't debate unless you let Buddy debate, too." If they stood their ground, the networks would have to drop the money rule or they wouldn't make any money themselves. After all, that's the real reason why every single cable news host has to have his own debate. They're in it to make money just like everyone else. Now how sweet would it be if Buddy won New Hampshire : )
http://www.buddyroemer.com/Since I'm afraid asking people to vote for Buddy Roemer might fall on deaf ears, I'll instead ask you to consider the only true conservative on the debate stage. No, not Rick Perry. Besides basically throwing in the towel last night, he's really not conservative nor is he cut out for the job. Texas is a state that pretty much governs itself. It's prosperity and job creation isn't dependent on the governor, but on the individual counties and cities. Perry didn't bring Silicon Valley to Austin, Austin did. Perry didn't create thousands of jobs, oil and natural gas did. Perry isn't on the side of the people, he's on the side of the person putting money in his pocket. Making HPV vaccinations mandatory is just one case that proves that point. I won't waste any more time on Perry, though, since he's packing his boots and heading back to Texas.
So if not Perry, then I must mean Rick Santorum. HA! Remember that new definition of conservative that I was talking about earlier? Aside from the puffy face and the age, that's Santorum in a nut shell. Ban contreception? Really? As if that would ever win you a general election. I'm all for family values and I appreciate that he's pledged his support for the Parental Rights Ammendment and the rights of homeschoolers, but his record concerns me. He bragged about being the in the top five congressman receiving the most money for earmarks. He's very proud of his pork and contributed heavily to the massive debt we're in now. And to be honest, he doesn't have much of a plan. He'll get us out of Afganistan and send us to Iran and wherever else Islamists are wreaking havoc. His solution for fixing the economy is cutting taxes. We tried that, by the way. Doesn't work. He has no real plans and no real solutions and one of the least conservative records out there. Nope, not Santorum.
Gingrich? Yes, the one who considers himself a god among men. Who cries when the truth about his lobbying and conservative bashing makes national news, who compares and considers himself an equal to those brave men and women who lost their lives during the attacks on Pearl Harbor. For that blasphemy alone, he should be hung for treason. No, not Newt.
Not Romney either. He does make for a strong contender in the general because he's on record as being slightly left of right on just about every issue. This would win the independent vote for sure. Plus, he's governed a state, and governors almost always make better presidents because they've actually had to govern and balance budgets. And let's be honest here, can we really expect a man who won the governor's race in the most cobalt state on the map, Massachusetts, to be a right wing extremist? No, he doesn't really fit the true conservative mold, but he can beat Obama, and that's why he's my #2.
So that just leaves Ron Paul, right? No. The man has lost his marbles when it comes to foreign policy. No, I don't think we should go to war with the world, but shrinking our defense down to a glorified border patrol doesn't make us a strong nation. And if anyone thinks that when we withdraw into our state-side fox holes that every other militarized nation won't be parking their battle ships just off our coastline is insanely naive and needs to have their heads checked.
So who else is there. Well, my friends, there's Jon Huntsman. If you haven't heard of him it's because you don't live in New Hampshire or you don't watch cable news. Yes, he's that guy that worked for Obama as ambassador to China. But how can he be conservative if he worked for Obama? Here's how:
Jon Huntsman Jr., at 51 years of age, has lived a varied and remarkable life in business and public service.
As governor of one of the most conservative states in the country, Jon built a strong executive record by cutting taxes, reducing waste and growing Utah's economy. Thanks to the free-market policies implemented by Gov. Huntsman, Utah weathered the economic storm and grew jobs while the rest of the country saw substantial job loss.
Jon also has extensive foreign policy experience -- a passion that was sparked at a young age. When he was 19, Jon embarked on a two-year mission trip to Taiwan, where he learned to speak Mandarin Chinese and Taiwanese Hokkein. He was later named U.S. Ambassador to Singapore, becoming the youngest head of an American diplomatic mission in a century. As U.S. Trade Ambassador under President George W. Bush, Jon helped negotiate dozens of free trade agreements with Asian and African nations.
His commitment to service rises above partisan politics. Asked by President Obama in 2009 to serve his country once again, Jon was unanimously confirmed by the U.S. Senate as ambassador to China. He turned heads by shunning motorcades, preferring instead to ride his bicycle and interact with the Chinese people. As ambassador, he worked closely with American business owners to facilitate commerce in the growing Asian market, bringing jobs and capital back to America. Jon occasionally butted heads with the Chinese government as he stridently advocated for the release of American citizens wrongfully imprisoned.
In the private sector, Jon is a successful businessman with hands-on job creation experience. He served as an executive in his family's business, which built hundreds of products and employed thousands of people. Using his international experience and language skills, Jon has helped the company compete and expand globally.
Shortly after becoming governor in 2004, Jon began implementing his 10-point plan for jumpstarting Utah's economy -- including historic tax reform. He simplified the tax structure and cut taxes by more than $400 million -- the largest tax cut in the state's history.
He maintained his fiscal responsibility even in the midst of the national economic recession. Rather than raise taxes or use accounting gimmicks, Jon cut waste and made government more efficient. As a result, Utah held its AAA bond rating and earned national accolades for debt management. Under his leadership, Utah ranked number one in the nation in the job creation and was named the best-managed state by the Pew Center.
In 2008, Jon spearheaded and passed comprehensive, market-based health care reform. While other states relied on government control and individual mandates, Jon delivered reforms that give consumers freedom to choose and negotiate their own coverage in a competitive marketplace. He also signed landmark legislation to protect the sanctity of unborn life and defend the Second Amendment.
When he is not working or spending time with his family, Jon enjoys riding his Harley and considers himself a street food connoisseur, frequenting taco stands. He is also an avid motocross racer, which has been a passion his entire life.
Jon Huntsman, Jr. is a graduate of the University of Pennsylvania. He and his wife Mary Kaye have seven children, including two adopted girls from China and India.
And that, dear voters, is why we have to quit sitting around wishing for change and get up and start making a difference. Huntsman has a chance to win in New Hampshire, but after that is anyone's guess. Now is not time to fall in line with business as usual and watch our country wither and die. Raise your voice, and raise it for true conservatives.
This print by Benjamin Franklin had nothing to do with independence from Britain. It was a plea for unity in defending the colonies during the French and Indian War. It played off a common superstition of the time: a snake that had been cut into pieces could come back to life if you joined the sections together before sunset.
We as conservatives have been cut into pieces. We need to unite behind one true conservative candidate before the sun sets, or risk four more years of Obama.
The bright yellow Gadsden Flag (top) stood for revolution. While more recently it's been adopted by anarchists and anti-government militias, conservatives should embrace it and hoist the colors again, to remind Washington of the ideals this country was founded on. Often considered the first flag of the United States, the Gadsden flag should become the first flag of the new, truly conservative party.
This observation of the image was published in a Philidelphia newspaper by a man calling himself the "American Guesser":
First, it occurred to him that "the Rattle-Snake is found in no other quarter of the world besides America."
The rattlesnake also has sharp eyes, and "may therefore be esteemed an emblem of vigilance." Furthermore,
"She never begins an attack, nor, when once engaged, ever surrenders: She is therefore an emblem of magnanimity and true courage. ... she never wounds 'till she has generously given notice, even to her enemy, and cautioned him against the danger of treading on her."Finally,
"I confess I was wholly at a loss what to make of the rattles, 'till I went back and counted them and found them just thirteen, exactly the number of the Colonies united in America; and I recollected too that this was the only part of the Snake which increased in numbers. ...
"'Tis curious and amazing to observe how distinct and independent of each other the rattles of this animal are, and yet how firmly they are united together, so as never to be separated but by breaking them to pieces. One of those rattles singly, is incapable of producing sound, but the ringing of thirteen together, is sufficient to alarm the boldest man living."Many scholars now agree that this "American Guesser" was Benjamin Franklin.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
10 Teachings of (This) Christmas
I could not have asked for a better Christmas than this years. That said, here are a few lessons learned that we can either duplicate of abolish next year:
#10 Christmas lights make everyone happy. Angry Birds themed Christmas lights make everyone think you're either the most wicked awesome neighbor ever . . . or the worst for making their lights pale in comparison (cue demented Grinch smile).
#9 I love big family Christmases. When I was a child, we did one of two things: Every other year, we would stay in Amarillo and participated in the massive Baker Family Christmas dinner (think Robert Earl Keene). The food was almost always cold by the time everyone got there, there were so many people that Christmas gifts were frowned upon (because, honestly, if you could afford that many gifts, you were just showing off. Or you weren't buying something for everyone which makes you a punk . . . unless you just bought for Grandma and then you're forgiven), and nine times out of ten a "disagreement" broke out. Good times. But fun, none the less : )
I was hoping that moving closer would mean bigger family holidays for my kids. We have a big house with a guest room and a huge den that could easily fit five full/queen size air mattresses and still have room to walk, plus sleeping bag room for extra kids in our kids' rooms (well, maybe not Bugs . . . her room is always a disaster. Like the Barbie isle at Toys R Us exploded all over it). But, to my dismay, no one was able to join us for Christmas this year. They all had their reasons for not being able to come up and we had ours for not being able to go down (hubby was on-call all weekend and had to work Friday and Monday), but I was bummed none the less. Until Christmas morning, that is. I woke up and it was still dark out (and before the kids so, like, 3am?) and rolled over to snuggle with my exhausted hubby in my new Christmas pj's (thanks babe! I love 'em!). It was then that I realized I hadn't spent Christmas with extended family but twice in the last nine years, both times because my husband was gone. So instead of pouting about missing out on crazy, cold dinners and the kids making cookies with their G.G., I snuggled in closer and thanked God for our little family Christmas, for a husband who was willing to spend holidays and birthdays and anniversaries in Baghdad so that others would know what it means to be free, like us, and for having our whole family together this year when so many soldiers and their families . . . my friends . . . are spending them apart. I'm thankful that, no matter where wars take us from now on, I will always have my husband home at Christmas time. I'll take that over cold turkey and snoring grandpas any day.
#8 Nothing beats being able to get your kids everything on their lists (within reason) and seeing their faces when they come in Christmas morning to an entire living room full of presents after ten years of getting just one thing from mom and dad and one thing from Santa. I may never go back to small Christmas mornings again.
#7 Buying your kids everything on their lists (within reason) and letting them wake up Christmas morning to an entire living room full of presents is a mistake! They get so obsessed with the gifts piling up under the tree that they completely forget the real meaning of Christmas. No amount of church services and Bible story readings or threats to never get presents again if they keep comparing who has more gifts can undo the damage done by mountains of presents Christmas morning.
Yes, to all you clever observant readers out there, I just contradicted myself. I do that often. But I think I have a plan for next year that will fix our Christmas morning selfishness.
All these years of going to church and I was never taught about advent until just recently. I have to do more research, but next year I plan on celebrating advent and not just Christmas. Each day leading up to Christmas will have a family activity, Bible lesson, and the kids will each get to open one present a day. Then, on Christmas Eve, we'll have a big dinner and they can open the rest of their gifts. This will free up Christmas day for focusing on Christ's birth, his sacrifice and find a way for the kids to do a little giving themselves at the hospital, nursing home or somewhere else in the community. I hope this will become a tradition that my kids will eventually share with their own families (and us, too, because I plan to invade their homes every Christmas long after they've moved out).
#6 The "Elf on the Shelf" is just plain creepy, and I refuse to give in to the further commercialization of Christmas (Linus would be proud).
#5 Sedatives . . . must . . get . . sedatives. For next year, that is. No more of this kids screaming at 5:40am stuff. Humbug.
#4 No amount of brilliant outdoor lighting combined with the hours spent outside installing said lighting will draw your neighbors out of their homes and encourage them to come by and introduce themselves. At some point, I'm going to have to man-up and do it myself. Just seems a little odd, though. "Howdy neighbor! I just thought I'd come by and introduce myself and welcome myself to the neighborhood. Here's a plate of cookies."
#3 The Santa issue is . . . well . . . an issue. As hard as I've tried to not put too much emphasis on Santa and elves and all that nonsense, my kids still turned out to be hard core believers. Especially Bugs. She's 10 and still thinks that a big fat man in a red velvet suit breaks into our house every year and leaves her a present. Besides the fact that he was obviously stalking her all year to know that she was good and exactly what she wanted. Why kids aren't completely terrified by the idea is beyond me. I blame the media. Heaven forbid they make Christmas movies and music about the real meaning and origins of Christmas. I even heard a song on Radio Disney by Mitchel Musso (I'm already revealing too much about myself just knowing that name) that says we all need to pause on Christmas morning to thank Santa Clause for all the things he does . . . for Christmas. Tragic. Other than Phineas and Ferb, I've boycotted Disney all together.
Chris really wanted to just come right out and tell them the truth . . . on Christmas eve no less . . . but I didn't have the heart. I don't do well in those kinds of situations. Words elude me and all I can say is "ummm" and "I don't know, I'm just really sorry." But one thing I can do is write. And that's what I'm doing. A book that helps parents transition from department store Santas to the real magic of Christmas without breaking their kids hearts and destroying the whimsy that young children associate with that time of year. Two wonderfully gifted friends are going to help with it, one to edit and one to illustrate, and hopefully by this summer I'll have it in print and on shelves. You'll know when it's done, because this is partly a shameless plug and I WILL try to sell it to you.
#2 Don't waste your time cleaning house before Christmas morning unless you plan on having company. My house was clean . . . and now it's not. Still. Four days post-Christmas.
#1 Christmas lists are great, but there's nothing better than giving or getting a gift that has had a lot of thought put into it. A fancy, delicate robe from your husband, an antique bound book from your son, a dress from your daughter that she's seen you drool over on-line for months . . . or seeing someones face when they open something totally unexpected since it may not have been on their list but it suits them perfectly. Next year I'm going to strive to put more thought into all the gifts that I give (and start shopping before the middle of December). Imagine the smiles we'd see if everyone did that : )
#10 Christmas lights make everyone happy. Angry Birds themed Christmas lights make everyone think you're either the most wicked awesome neighbor ever . . . or the worst for making their lights pale in comparison (cue demented Grinch smile).
#9 I love big family Christmases. When I was a child, we did one of two things: Every other year, we would stay in Amarillo and participated in the massive Baker Family Christmas dinner (think Robert Earl Keene). The food was almost always cold by the time everyone got there, there were so many people that Christmas gifts were frowned upon (because, honestly, if you could afford that many gifts, you were just showing off. Or you weren't buying something for everyone which makes you a punk . . . unless you just bought for Grandma and then you're forgiven), and nine times out of ten a "disagreement" broke out. Good times. But fun, none the less : )
When we weren't in Amarillo dodging Grandma and her "Where's my present from y'all?" face, we trekked up to Erie, CO to have Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa Fay. I don't remember any other family members ever being there, so it was always like our own little spoiled rotten Christmas. We would bake pies with Grandma and go sledding outside with Mom and Dad. If Christmas fell in the middle of the week and we had more than just a day or two there, we'd go eat at Casa Bonita and visit Uncle Corky who would always pull a silver dollar out of our ears. Those were the best Christmases. They always felt special, even if there wasn't anything out of the ordinary about them.
#8 Nothing beats being able to get your kids everything on their lists (within reason) and seeing their faces when they come in Christmas morning to an entire living room full of presents after ten years of getting just one thing from mom and dad and one thing from Santa. I may never go back to small Christmas mornings again.
#7 Buying your kids everything on their lists (within reason) and letting them wake up Christmas morning to an entire living room full of presents is a mistake! They get so obsessed with the gifts piling up under the tree that they completely forget the real meaning of Christmas. No amount of church services and Bible story readings or threats to never get presents again if they keep comparing who has more gifts can undo the damage done by mountains of presents Christmas morning.
Yes, to all you clever observant readers out there, I just contradicted myself. I do that often. But I think I have a plan for next year that will fix our Christmas morning selfishness.
All these years of going to church and I was never taught about advent until just recently. I have to do more research, but next year I plan on celebrating advent and not just Christmas. Each day leading up to Christmas will have a family activity, Bible lesson, and the kids will each get to open one present a day. Then, on Christmas Eve, we'll have a big dinner and they can open the rest of their gifts. This will free up Christmas day for focusing on Christ's birth, his sacrifice and find a way for the kids to do a little giving themselves at the hospital, nursing home or somewhere else in the community. I hope this will become a tradition that my kids will eventually share with their own families (and us, too, because I plan to invade their homes every Christmas long after they've moved out).
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| Yes, this would happen to an elf in our house. |
#5 Sedatives . . . must . . get . . sedatives. For next year, that is. No more of this kids screaming at 5:40am stuff. Humbug.
#4 No amount of brilliant outdoor lighting combined with the hours spent outside installing said lighting will draw your neighbors out of their homes and encourage them to come by and introduce themselves. At some point, I'm going to have to man-up and do it myself. Just seems a little odd, though. "Howdy neighbor! I just thought I'd come by and introduce myself and welcome myself to the neighborhood. Here's a plate of cookies."
#3 The Santa issue is . . . well . . . an issue. As hard as I've tried to not put too much emphasis on Santa and elves and all that nonsense, my kids still turned out to be hard core believers. Especially Bugs. She's 10 and still thinks that a big fat man in a red velvet suit breaks into our house every year and leaves her a present. Besides the fact that he was obviously stalking her all year to know that she was good and exactly what she wanted. Why kids aren't completely terrified by the idea is beyond me. I blame the media. Heaven forbid they make Christmas movies and music about the real meaning and origins of Christmas. I even heard a song on Radio Disney by Mitchel Musso (I'm already revealing too much about myself just knowing that name) that says we all need to pause on Christmas morning to thank Santa Clause for all the things he does . . . for Christmas. Tragic. Other than Phineas and Ferb, I've boycotted Disney all together.
#2 Don't waste your time cleaning house before Christmas morning unless you plan on having company. My house was clean . . . and now it's not. Still. Four days post-Christmas.
#1 Christmas lists are great, but there's nothing better than giving or getting a gift that has had a lot of thought put into it. A fancy, delicate robe from your husband, an antique bound book from your son, a dress from your daughter that she's seen you drool over on-line for months . . . or seeing someones face when they open something totally unexpected since it may not have been on their list but it suits them perfectly. Next year I'm going to strive to put more thought into all the gifts that I give (and start shopping before the middle of December). Imagine the smiles we'd see if everyone did that : )
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from My Family to Yours!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
"Is your house on fire, Clark?" "No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights."
Most of you either know my husband or know of my husband. But even his closest friends and family are completely unaware of his dark secret. My husband has a disability. A mental one. It's called OGS, or Obsessive Griswold Syndrome.
While most wives would view this as a very expensive and time consuming handicap, I embrace it. To me (the creative, big project lover), his OGS is a gift wrapped in multicolored LEDs topped with fresh noble fir garland. I'm, of course, referencing the *Award Winning* Gingerbread House of 2010 and the blazing white spectacle that was the 5,000 sq ft my-neighbor-is-deployed-so-I'll-make-his-kids-happy-by-putting-lights-on-their-side-of-our-duplex-too Christmas display in North Carolina, affectionately nick-named the Icicle House. He was over the moon after that one because, for the first time since joining the military, our exterior lighting was perfectly balanced : )
He is so particular about his exterior lighting and decorating, that he has developed a point system which he uses to evaluate not only our home, but everyone else as well. I'm not sure how many points everyone starts with, but points are deducted for each day your lights are up and ON before Thanksgiving, sagging lights, blinking sections combined with fading/running/non-blinking sections, rope lights, blow ups (that's a lazy man's Christmas decor), using only one color (white is the exception) . . . the list goes on and on and, frankly, I don't even know it all and am pretty sure he makes up more deductions as we go. I'm sure there are bonus points, but no one's earned them yet to my knowledge.
This year is no different, except that he's been presented with obstacles we've never encountered before. First, we skipped decorating the weekend following Thanksgiving because my parents were in town. Big mistake. Apparently, the snow can't stay at bay long after Thanksgiving in Colorado. We had every intention of creating his Christmas masterpiece this weekend. That is, until we checked the weather forecast yesterday. Snow . . . all weekend . . . and lots of it.
The ground work can be done rain or shine and so can the icicles since we invested in a ladder yesterday, but the trim lights require climbing onto the roof and that can NOT be done on a wet, snowy, steep pitched second story. So last night my husband, completely overwhelmed by his OGS, mounted the ladder and ascended to the roof where he completed the trim lights in the freezing cold pitch blackness of night. And I, the ever faithful and always concerned wife, stayed outside with him (on the ground), tossing bags of gutter clips and extra strands of lights up on the roof for him.
By the time we reached the back side of the house, we had worked through all the spools of lights we had purchased this year. He was so careful, even spent a little extra per spool, to buy Phillips lights only, since that was the brand we purchased last year and they MUST match exactly. It was only after I retrieved the bin of lights leftover from last year's gingerbread creation from the garage and tossed a strand up onto the roof that he realized Philips had betrayed us. Some disgraceful schlub at Philips headquarters whose sole job is to come up with ways to make even more money off men who suffer from the same mental disorder as my husband, realized that if they added an extra colored bulp . . . purple . . . to the pattern of colored lights, men with OGS will be forced to trash last year's strands and replace them all with the new purple strands or be left to suffer with mismatched strands. So my husband had a decision to make: Use last year's strands on the least visible side of the house and deduct points, or descend from the roof and haul off to Target and risk being gone long enough for the storm to blow in. The stress was almost too much to bear. But finally, he came to the conclusion that missing an entire section of lights (all be it the far back corner) due to snow was utterly unacceptable. He hung last year's strands and took his deductions like a man.
Though, I have a strong feeling I'll be heading to Target this weekend just in case the Philips punks decide to add periwinkle or chartreuse next year.
At this point, my husband's poor fingers were near frost bite stage. I commented, JOKINGLY, that he didn't have to put a clip on each individual bulb and save his fingers by only putting a clip on every fifth bulb. Would go so much faster! What follows is his rebuttle:
"Not acceptable. I refuse to have flaccid lights. Each bulb must stand erect. Christmas lights on Viagra!"
I do love him . . . . so much : )
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| Hanging our "gingerbread" last year |
Pics of this years lights will be posted after the snow stops falling this weekend.
And here they are! I love having a husband that can take any crazy idea I have for a Christmas theme and make it reality. I mentioned possibly doing the Calvin and Hobbs snowmen next year . . . .
. . . he's already researching do-it-yourself snow making machines.
Good grief :-p
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
"Fire, Water and Government . . . "
How To Fix This Mess We're In
I'm a faithful and devout news watcher. It's an addiction that I've managed since childhood that I fed by committing 90% of my time in high school to journalism, which then led to majoring in Mass Comm/Journalism with a minor in History (they kind of go hand-in-hand). My failed attempt at college did nothing to lessen my love for the news of the day. In my immaturity, I leaned on the likes of "Good Morning America" and the ever vigilant News Channel 10 and their consistant coverage of all things positive going on in Amarillo. As I transitioned from naive teenager to informed 20-something, I discovered the likes of CNN and MSNBC. After joining the military, my narrow focus broadened and things like the Chamber Cook-Off and a two-car accident blocking traffic going into the mall were replaced by the plight of natives in the Congo and China's tightening grip on America. I suppose that being in the military made me feel more a part of the world, rather than just another person taking up space in our little corner of the Texas Panhandle. Hurricane Katrina took this from a personal hypothesis to an understood truth. Like many, I was glued to the continuing coverage, especially after Chris volunteered to go down with the 82nd to assist as a medic. Seeing the familiar face of a neighbor and knowing your husband is right behind him on national cable news solidifies the idea that we are a part of something bigger.
While Chris was deployed to Iraq, I discovered a prime time cable news program called "Scarborough Country". Joe Scarborough was the host, a former republican congressman from Florida who always seemed to be saying exactly what I was thinking. I've continued to follow Joe as his show grew in popularity and eventually replaced Imus and became "Morning Joe," a more balanced a broad political news program that I'm forced to DVR since it's on at 3am on the West Coast (the up-side is that I can fast-forward through the commercials turning it into a two and a quarter rather than three hour show). It's both entertaining and serious, light and intelligent. And it's all politics or the political side of whatever might be the top stories of the day.
I don't always agree with Joe, and I don't always disagree with Mika, his left-leaning co-host. But one thing all three of us agree on is that this country is headed down the proverbial toilet faster than we're able to cut off the water. And sadly our elected officials are the ones holding down the handle.
Now, those inside the D.C. Beltway would ask what qualifies me to have an opinion and, even worse, offer up solutions to the problems facing this great nation. Well I'll tell you. First, I'm old enough to vote and I do not vote based on who is pro-life or pro-gay or whatever. I vote based on who has a plan and whether or not I like it. Second, I know my stuff. Probably more than, say, Sarah Palin or the new trending front runner, Herman Cain. I follow politics like my husband follows baseball. I read the books, watch the documentaries and listen to the commentaries. Third, I am a student of History as much as I am of politics, which unfortunately is not the case for most of our elected officials who seem to think Reagan never raised taxes. Lastly, I am a person with a brain, not a fund raising robot whose only programmed function is to run for re-election. I am a young mother, a wife of a soldier turned civilian, a home school educator and, frankly, this is a blog so I can say what I want and if you don't like it, don't follow it. So here's my plan (the short and simple version for people who work for a living):
Federal Income Tax- This one seems like a no-brainer to me. You make money, you pay taxes. You make more money, you pay more taxes. I don't care if you give to charity or buy a Prius. What you do with your pay check is your business. But it's your responsibility as a US citizen to pay your taxes. A household with an income of $50k or less should pay 5%, $51k-$150k should pay 7%, $151k to $500k should pay 10%, and anything over $501k should pay 15%. No loop holes, no write-offs, no deductions.
Corporate Tax- Businesses should pay 15% on revenues for that fiscal year. Period. Not the 35% that Comcast pays or the 0% (that's right, I said 0%) that GE pays. To promote growth, you offer a 5% reduction if the business can show proof of consistent growth over a minimum of three years. The business will receive the reduced rate for two years, and after re-evaluation, if they can still show proof of consistent growth, they continue to receive the discounted rate. Again, no loop holes, no write-offs and no deductions. Honest math makes honest businesses.
Subsidies and Bail Outs- No more! The idea behind starting a business is to be profitable. If you cannot turn a profit or, at the very least, make enough to pay your bills, you should not be in business. *Note: All you ag people quit huffing and puffing, I'll get to you in a minute.* I was in Kindergarten when my dad opened his own print shop. I watched it grow as I did, and then I watched it begin to level off as I did. But, before the shop started to decline, my dad did what any smart business man would do and sold it. And he IS smart, and I have faith that, with some optimism, he'll find a new niche and grow another profitable business. But that's the point. Do good, or don't do it at all. But certainly don't do bad then turn to the government for money. And if there is no market or no demand for whatever it is that you want to sell/grow/develop, the federal government should not be the bank you turn to for funding. If you can find some wealthy sap willing to foot the bill for your electric space ship, more power to you. But if tax payers don't want it, then they shouldn't have to pay for it. Risk and revenue do not make good bedfellows.
Wall Street/Banks- This is where my expertise is lacking. But to be completely honest, I'm pretty sure no one really knows what's going on in the financial system, not even those people involved with it. Here's what I know and I'll just leave it at this: If you want to risk your life savings on something that's not guaranteed and you want to pay someone else to do it, then that's your business and you deal with the rewards or the consequences. BUT, said paid risk takers should be held responsible for obeying the law (i.e. Bernie Madoff). There's a difference between being a crappy trader and a thief. Thieves go to jail, crappy traders get fired. Banks should not be allowed to become "too big to fail". I realize that just because 100 people put $100,000 each into the same branch of BofA doesn't mean that all 100 people will be able to go withdraw that exact amount from that same branch all at the same time. BUT, banks should not be allowed to play a game of Risk with our money, investments and mortgages. Banks are supposed to be the safe place for money. So regulate the snot out of them. Also, all these fees are ludicrous. If an account only has $5 in it and the holder tries to buy something for $10, decline the card. If I don't sign up for overdraft protection and you allow me to make a $40 purchase when there's only $20 in my account, you shouldn't be able to charge me $35 per day that I'm overdrawn. That's on you, Mr. Bank. If you sign up for overdraft protection, then you agree to pay the fee. If not, you can't overdraw your account. Back in the day, we called that bouncing a check and it would earn you the privilege of having your name and your check stamped with "INSUFFICIENT FUNDS" taped to the cash register at your favorite neighborhood Mexican restaurant for God and all of your Friday night margarita chums to see, forever shaming you from that establishment. And why in the world are banks allowed to charge me a $5 fee just for USING my debit card?! Just because the banks decide to risk it all in the credit card game doesn't mean those of us who are responsible "debit card only" customers should have to make up for their lost revenue. Again, Mr. Bank, that's on you. So I guess the long and short of the Wall Street/Banks section of my fiscal policy is "Regulate, Regulate, REGULATE!"E
Education- Again, this seems to me like a no-brainer.
K-12: For public schools, use what's working. And the only thing working in public schools right now are charter schools. Take the leaders of the most successful schools in America, most being charter schools, find out what they're doing, and implement those ideas into the public school system. No, not all schools are created equal and I get that. But if a school is failing, give it an ultimatum. Fix the problem, or lose your school. If the problem is leadership, change the leadership. If the problem is teachers, change the teachers. If the walls are falling down, then fix the darn walls! Districts should be held accountable by the state and the state should be held accountable by the fed. If a district doesn't allocate money to replace broken toilets in an older school in a poor neighborhood, opting instead to build a new football stadium, then the state steps in, removes leadership and puts new, good ones in place. If a teacher has been there for 20 years but her kids aren't learning a darn thing, then fire HER, not the brand new, excited, enthusiastic teacher that all the kids love and can't wait to learn from every day. Teachers cannot be graded on tests alone. If that were the case, I'd be a horrible teacher. My daughter can't take a test to save her life. Looking at fractions on a piece of paper makes her head spin, but she can double the ingredients to a recipe with no problem at all, and she can measure me, create a pattern and sew me dress without ever second guessing herself. That's how I know I'm not failing as a home school teacher. Public school teachers are no different. A kid may bomb the annual standardized test, but their mom will tell you they've progressed SO MUCH since having Mrs. Smith. The kid will tell you they used to hate reading, but now they love it because of Mrs. Smith. And Mrs. Smith's grade book will show you that the kid, a third grader, has gone from an early first grade level of comprehension to a late second/early third grade level of comprehension, all in less than ten months. That, my friends, is good teaching. Standardized tests should only be used to make sure the school, district and state are not falling behind national and international standards. They should NOT be used to judge the quality of a teacher. *Note: I am a firm believer in the rights of a parent. Those rights should not be questioned or compromised, especially not by the government. If a parent, who works and lives in a home which provides revenue for the school district, wants to place their child in an alternate form of eduction (private, religious, specialty or home school) that is their right and it should not be questioned or the chosen curriculum questioned or dictated by anyone other than the parent responsible.*
Higher Ed: College is expensive. Always has been. This is why parents used to have what was called a "college fund" which, in its simplest form, was a savings account parents would open when their kids were very small and they would deposit money into regularly until their child graduated. It's a simple concept, but with the introduction of this thing called "student loans" in the late 80's which turned into an epidemic of loan dependency in the 90's and early 21st century, parents no longer save money for college and instead strap their recent grads with mountains of debt without the guarantee of a pay check to get rid of it. My solution? Get rid of student loans. If your mom and dad didn't save for college, get a job and pay for it yourself. Or work hard in high school and get some scholarships. And a job. Because, like I said before, college is expensive. Also, go where you can afford to go. While I would love for at least one of my kids to graduate from the University of Texas at Austin, I'm very aware of how absurdly expensive it is, especially since it's out of state. There are hundreds of very good schools out there that will get you the exact same education, if not better, at half the price. Save your Hook 'Em Horns! shirt for Saturdays in the fall and go instead to a school that you can afford and whose colors actually complement your skin tone.
The "Service for School" Plan: The military has been trying to resolve its budget and retention issues for years. Well, I have the solution. Four years of service for four years of college. No, not the G.I. Bill that's currently in place and needs to stay in place for people like us who enlisted in the military after we were married and had kids. No, this is for kids fresh out of high school who want to go to college but can't. Join the Army, get a roof over your head, three meals a day, free health care and dental, uniforms to wear for every occasion and a good lesson in leadership and personal responsibility. No salary. Instead, four years of college at the state school of their choice in their home state with room and board and books paid in full. They'll have to get a part time job if they want to eat out or whatever, but after four years in the service, they'll be disciplined enough to handle it and not flunk out. Problem solved.
Medicare- Again, "Regulate, Regulate, REGULATE!" Billions of dollars in fraudulent charges are being overlooked and Medicare is collapsing because of it. Hire a group of people whose sole job is to seek out those who are screwing the government and go after them. Make them pay for it, then deny them the ability to accept Medicare. Just the thought of the possibility of this happening is enough to scare most people out of defrauding the government. Also, quit with the drug rights thing! Allow pharmaceutical companies to make generic forms of any prescription drug just 12 months after the boutique brand comes out. This will save millions.
Social Security- I'm sorry, but if you pay into it, you should be able to get it back. BUT, if you choose to continue working until you're 90, then you shouldn't get SSI until you're 90. If you have millions of dollars just lying around for a rainy day, then you shouldn't get SSI. If you're like me and you have contributed very little because you chose to stay at home and raise your kids, then you better hope those kids love you enough to take you in and support you once your husband and his income can no longer do so. Social Security is just that, SECURITY. It's to make sure you don't starve to death at 87. It's not for paying a mortgage, cell bill, cable, groceries, gas and Christmas presents for all 37 grand kids. If you want to retire, save money for it, pay off your house and don't buy a new Audi at 64.
Foreign Policy- 1) We don't negotiate with terrorists . . . ever. 2) Just because you have oil doesn't mean we have to support your decision to slaughter your own people. But Israel has our support no matter what. 3) The best offense is a good defense. The war on terror can't be won when the opponents have home field advantage. Bring our troops home, save money, save lives, build up your military, your weapons and your borders so that no one would dare enter our country by air, land or sea because they would know they'd never make it five minutes inside our territorial border.
Illegal Immigration- The best way to put a halt to illegal immigration is not by chasing after illegal immigrants, but instead chasing after the people who employ them. Fine the employers $10,000 per person they hired that doesn't have papers. And the employer doesn't have to prove or not prove that the immigrant works for them. If INS comes in and there's illegals in your fields or in your factory, that's $10k per head. If they come back next week and there's new illegals, that's another $10k per head. Eventually, no one will hire them and they'll all have to go back home. As far as drugs and bad guys go, a fence will not stop them. Not even a 20 foot tall one with barbed wire that's electrified, Mr. Cain. Again, the best offense is a good defense. Since the border patrol is already part of homeland security, make them soldiers. Pay them like soldiers. Give them the same benefits as soldiers and arm them like soldiers. Problem solved again.
The Obesity Crisis- Mandate that school lunches be healthy . . . and I mean really healthy, not this corn and chicken nuggets nonsense that's going on right now. Also, if an adult chooses to eat a quarter pounder every day for lunch, then they should have to pay more for health insurance. So should smokers, by the way. Give them six months to lose the weight, six months to keep it off, and if they can't, their premiums go up. Yes, there is a disparity when it comes to poor people and obesity. But the fact of the matter is that it's cheaper to be fat. Junk food is cheaper than healthy food. So tax junk food. Also, give a $30,000 annual allotment to farms that grow edible fruits, veggies and meat (there you go, ag people). That money can be used to support their families so that the money they make off their crops can be used to plant more crops and buy new equipment. If a farmer wants to grow corn for ethanol, let Conoco Philips pay them.
Environment- Tax gas till you're blue in the face. The fastest way to get clean energy implemented and reduce our independence on foreign oil is to make gas too expensive to consume at the rate we are consuming it now. Also, invest in new roads, more railways for trains that actually move people (i.e. high speed rail) and cleaner energy sources. It won't make us any money, but the gas tax will pay for it and we'll benefit in the long run.
So that's pretty much it in a nut shell. No, I'm not running for office . . . I don't have the patience : ) But if I can sit down at my computer one afternoon with three kids running around all crazy and having to stop typing every five minutes to get chocolate milk or comfort a crying 4th grader who just got beat up by her 2 year old sister and still come up with all this, then why can't someone with a title and a much bigger pay check do it? I'm just sayin' . . . .
I'm a faithful and devout news watcher. It's an addiction that I've managed since childhood that I fed by committing 90% of my time in high school to journalism, which then led to majoring in Mass Comm/Journalism with a minor in History (they kind of go hand-in-hand). My failed attempt at college did nothing to lessen my love for the news of the day. In my immaturity, I leaned on the likes of "Good Morning America" and the ever vigilant News Channel 10 and their consistant coverage of all things positive going on in Amarillo. As I transitioned from naive teenager to informed 20-something, I discovered the likes of CNN and MSNBC. After joining the military, my narrow focus broadened and things like the Chamber Cook-Off and a two-car accident blocking traffic going into the mall were replaced by the plight of natives in the Congo and China's tightening grip on America. I suppose that being in the military made me feel more a part of the world, rather than just another person taking up space in our little corner of the Texas Panhandle. Hurricane Katrina took this from a personal hypothesis to an understood truth. Like many, I was glued to the continuing coverage, especially after Chris volunteered to go down with the 82nd to assist as a medic. Seeing the familiar face of a neighbor and knowing your husband is right behind him on national cable news solidifies the idea that we are a part of something bigger.
While Chris was deployed to Iraq, I discovered a prime time cable news program called "Scarborough Country". Joe Scarborough was the host, a former republican congressman from Florida who always seemed to be saying exactly what I was thinking. I've continued to follow Joe as his show grew in popularity and eventually replaced Imus and became "Morning Joe," a more balanced a broad political news program that I'm forced to DVR since it's on at 3am on the West Coast (the up-side is that I can fast-forward through the commercials turning it into a two and a quarter rather than three hour show). It's both entertaining and serious, light and intelligent. And it's all politics or the political side of whatever might be the top stories of the day.
I don't always agree with Joe, and I don't always disagree with Mika, his left-leaning co-host. But one thing all three of us agree on is that this country is headed down the proverbial toilet faster than we're able to cut off the water. And sadly our elected officials are the ones holding down the handle.
Now, those inside the D.C. Beltway would ask what qualifies me to have an opinion and, even worse, offer up solutions to the problems facing this great nation. Well I'll tell you. First, I'm old enough to vote and I do not vote based on who is pro-life or pro-gay or whatever. I vote based on who has a plan and whether or not I like it. Second, I know my stuff. Probably more than, say, Sarah Palin or the new trending front runner, Herman Cain. I follow politics like my husband follows baseball. I read the books, watch the documentaries and listen to the commentaries. Third, I am a student of History as much as I am of politics, which unfortunately is not the case for most of our elected officials who seem to think Reagan never raised taxes. Lastly, I am a person with a brain, not a fund raising robot whose only programmed function is to run for re-election. I am a young mother, a wife of a soldier turned civilian, a home school educator and, frankly, this is a blog so I can say what I want and if you don't like it, don't follow it. So here's my plan (the short and simple version for people who work for a living):
Federal Income Tax- This one seems like a no-brainer to me. You make money, you pay taxes. You make more money, you pay more taxes. I don't care if you give to charity or buy a Prius. What you do with your pay check is your business. But it's your responsibility as a US citizen to pay your taxes. A household with an income of $50k or less should pay 5%, $51k-$150k should pay 7%, $151k to $500k should pay 10%, and anything over $501k should pay 15%. No loop holes, no write-offs, no deductions.
Corporate Tax- Businesses should pay 15% on revenues for that fiscal year. Period. Not the 35% that Comcast pays or the 0% (that's right, I said 0%) that GE pays. To promote growth, you offer a 5% reduction if the business can show proof of consistent growth over a minimum of three years. The business will receive the reduced rate for two years, and after re-evaluation, if they can still show proof of consistent growth, they continue to receive the discounted rate. Again, no loop holes, no write-offs and no deductions. Honest math makes honest businesses.
Subsidies and Bail Outs- No more! The idea behind starting a business is to be profitable. If you cannot turn a profit or, at the very least, make enough to pay your bills, you should not be in business. *Note: All you ag people quit huffing and puffing, I'll get to you in a minute.* I was in Kindergarten when my dad opened his own print shop. I watched it grow as I did, and then I watched it begin to level off as I did. But, before the shop started to decline, my dad did what any smart business man would do and sold it. And he IS smart, and I have faith that, with some optimism, he'll find a new niche and grow another profitable business. But that's the point. Do good, or don't do it at all. But certainly don't do bad then turn to the government for money. And if there is no market or no demand for whatever it is that you want to sell/grow/develop, the federal government should not be the bank you turn to for funding. If you can find some wealthy sap willing to foot the bill for your electric space ship, more power to you. But if tax payers don't want it, then they shouldn't have to pay for it. Risk and revenue do not make good bedfellows.
Wall Street/Banks- This is where my expertise is lacking. But to be completely honest, I'm pretty sure no one really knows what's going on in the financial system, not even those people involved with it. Here's what I know and I'll just leave it at this: If you want to risk your life savings on something that's not guaranteed and you want to pay someone else to do it, then that's your business and you deal with the rewards or the consequences. BUT, said paid risk takers should be held responsible for obeying the law (i.e. Bernie Madoff). There's a difference between being a crappy trader and a thief. Thieves go to jail, crappy traders get fired. Banks should not be allowed to become "too big to fail". I realize that just because 100 people put $100,000 each into the same branch of BofA doesn't mean that all 100 people will be able to go withdraw that exact amount from that same branch all at the same time. BUT, banks should not be allowed to play a game of Risk with our money, investments and mortgages. Banks are supposed to be the safe place for money. So regulate the snot out of them. Also, all these fees are ludicrous. If an account only has $5 in it and the holder tries to buy something for $10, decline the card. If I don't sign up for overdraft protection and you allow me to make a $40 purchase when there's only $20 in my account, you shouldn't be able to charge me $35 per day that I'm overdrawn. That's on you, Mr. Bank. If you sign up for overdraft protection, then you agree to pay the fee. If not, you can't overdraw your account. Back in the day, we called that bouncing a check and it would earn you the privilege of having your name and your check stamped with "INSUFFICIENT FUNDS" taped to the cash register at your favorite neighborhood Mexican restaurant for God and all of your Friday night margarita chums to see, forever shaming you from that establishment. And why in the world are banks allowed to charge me a $5 fee just for USING my debit card?! Just because the banks decide to risk it all in the credit card game doesn't mean those of us who are responsible "debit card only" customers should have to make up for their lost revenue. Again, Mr. Bank, that's on you. So I guess the long and short of the Wall Street/Banks section of my fiscal policy is "Regulate, Regulate, REGULATE!"E
Education- Again, this seems to me like a no-brainer.
K-12: For public schools, use what's working. And the only thing working in public schools right now are charter schools. Take the leaders of the most successful schools in America, most being charter schools, find out what they're doing, and implement those ideas into the public school system. No, not all schools are created equal and I get that. But if a school is failing, give it an ultimatum. Fix the problem, or lose your school. If the problem is leadership, change the leadership. If the problem is teachers, change the teachers. If the walls are falling down, then fix the darn walls! Districts should be held accountable by the state and the state should be held accountable by the fed. If a district doesn't allocate money to replace broken toilets in an older school in a poor neighborhood, opting instead to build a new football stadium, then the state steps in, removes leadership and puts new, good ones in place. If a teacher has been there for 20 years but her kids aren't learning a darn thing, then fire HER, not the brand new, excited, enthusiastic teacher that all the kids love and can't wait to learn from every day. Teachers cannot be graded on tests alone. If that were the case, I'd be a horrible teacher. My daughter can't take a test to save her life. Looking at fractions on a piece of paper makes her head spin, but she can double the ingredients to a recipe with no problem at all, and she can measure me, create a pattern and sew me dress without ever second guessing herself. That's how I know I'm not failing as a home school teacher. Public school teachers are no different. A kid may bomb the annual standardized test, but their mom will tell you they've progressed SO MUCH since having Mrs. Smith. The kid will tell you they used to hate reading, but now they love it because of Mrs. Smith. And Mrs. Smith's grade book will show you that the kid, a third grader, has gone from an early first grade level of comprehension to a late second/early third grade level of comprehension, all in less than ten months. That, my friends, is good teaching. Standardized tests should only be used to make sure the school, district and state are not falling behind national and international standards. They should NOT be used to judge the quality of a teacher. *Note: I am a firm believer in the rights of a parent. Those rights should not be questioned or compromised, especially not by the government. If a parent, who works and lives in a home which provides revenue for the school district, wants to place their child in an alternate form of eduction (private, religious, specialty or home school) that is their right and it should not be questioned or the chosen curriculum questioned or dictated by anyone other than the parent responsible.*
Higher Ed: College is expensive. Always has been. This is why parents used to have what was called a "college fund" which, in its simplest form, was a savings account parents would open when their kids were very small and they would deposit money into regularly until their child graduated. It's a simple concept, but with the introduction of this thing called "student loans" in the late 80's which turned into an epidemic of loan dependency in the 90's and early 21st century, parents no longer save money for college and instead strap their recent grads with mountains of debt without the guarantee of a pay check to get rid of it. My solution? Get rid of student loans. If your mom and dad didn't save for college, get a job and pay for it yourself. Or work hard in high school and get some scholarships. And a job. Because, like I said before, college is expensive. Also, go where you can afford to go. While I would love for at least one of my kids to graduate from the University of Texas at Austin, I'm very aware of how absurdly expensive it is, especially since it's out of state. There are hundreds of very good schools out there that will get you the exact same education, if not better, at half the price. Save your Hook 'Em Horns! shirt for Saturdays in the fall and go instead to a school that you can afford and whose colors actually complement your skin tone.
The "Service for School" Plan: The military has been trying to resolve its budget and retention issues for years. Well, I have the solution. Four years of service for four years of college. No, not the G.I. Bill that's currently in place and needs to stay in place for people like us who enlisted in the military after we were married and had kids. No, this is for kids fresh out of high school who want to go to college but can't. Join the Army, get a roof over your head, three meals a day, free health care and dental, uniforms to wear for every occasion and a good lesson in leadership and personal responsibility. No salary. Instead, four years of college at the state school of their choice in their home state with room and board and books paid in full. They'll have to get a part time job if they want to eat out or whatever, but after four years in the service, they'll be disciplined enough to handle it and not flunk out. Problem solved.
Medicare- Again, "Regulate, Regulate, REGULATE!" Billions of dollars in fraudulent charges are being overlooked and Medicare is collapsing because of it. Hire a group of people whose sole job is to seek out those who are screwing the government and go after them. Make them pay for it, then deny them the ability to accept Medicare. Just the thought of the possibility of this happening is enough to scare most people out of defrauding the government. Also, quit with the drug rights thing! Allow pharmaceutical companies to make generic forms of any prescription drug just 12 months after the boutique brand comes out. This will save millions.
Social Security- I'm sorry, but if you pay into it, you should be able to get it back. BUT, if you choose to continue working until you're 90, then you shouldn't get SSI until you're 90. If you have millions of dollars just lying around for a rainy day, then you shouldn't get SSI. If you're like me and you have contributed very little because you chose to stay at home and raise your kids, then you better hope those kids love you enough to take you in and support you once your husband and his income can no longer do so. Social Security is just that, SECURITY. It's to make sure you don't starve to death at 87. It's not for paying a mortgage, cell bill, cable, groceries, gas and Christmas presents for all 37 grand kids. If you want to retire, save money for it, pay off your house and don't buy a new Audi at 64.
Foreign Policy- 1) We don't negotiate with terrorists . . . ever. 2) Just because you have oil doesn't mean we have to support your decision to slaughter your own people. But Israel has our support no matter what. 3) The best offense is a good defense. The war on terror can't be won when the opponents have home field advantage. Bring our troops home, save money, save lives, build up your military, your weapons and your borders so that no one would dare enter our country by air, land or sea because they would know they'd never make it five minutes inside our territorial border.
Illegal Immigration- The best way to put a halt to illegal immigration is not by chasing after illegal immigrants, but instead chasing after the people who employ them. Fine the employers $10,000 per person they hired that doesn't have papers. And the employer doesn't have to prove or not prove that the immigrant works for them. If INS comes in and there's illegals in your fields or in your factory, that's $10k per head. If they come back next week and there's new illegals, that's another $10k per head. Eventually, no one will hire them and they'll all have to go back home. As far as drugs and bad guys go, a fence will not stop them. Not even a 20 foot tall one with barbed wire that's electrified, Mr. Cain. Again, the best offense is a good defense. Since the border patrol is already part of homeland security, make them soldiers. Pay them like soldiers. Give them the same benefits as soldiers and arm them like soldiers. Problem solved again.
The Obesity Crisis- Mandate that school lunches be healthy . . . and I mean really healthy, not this corn and chicken nuggets nonsense that's going on right now. Also, if an adult chooses to eat a quarter pounder every day for lunch, then they should have to pay more for health insurance. So should smokers, by the way. Give them six months to lose the weight, six months to keep it off, and if they can't, their premiums go up. Yes, there is a disparity when it comes to poor people and obesity. But the fact of the matter is that it's cheaper to be fat. Junk food is cheaper than healthy food. So tax junk food. Also, give a $30,000 annual allotment to farms that grow edible fruits, veggies and meat (there you go, ag people). That money can be used to support their families so that the money they make off their crops can be used to plant more crops and buy new equipment. If a farmer wants to grow corn for ethanol, let Conoco Philips pay them.
Environment- Tax gas till you're blue in the face. The fastest way to get clean energy implemented and reduce our independence on foreign oil is to make gas too expensive to consume at the rate we are consuming it now. Also, invest in new roads, more railways for trains that actually move people (i.e. high speed rail) and cleaner energy sources. It won't make us any money, but the gas tax will pay for it and we'll benefit in the long run.
So that's pretty much it in a nut shell. No, I'm not running for office . . . I don't have the patience : ) But if I can sit down at my computer one afternoon with three kids running around all crazy and having to stop typing every five minutes to get chocolate milk or comfort a crying 4th grader who just got beat up by her 2 year old sister and still come up with all this, then why can't someone with a title and a much bigger pay check do it? I'm just sayin' . . . .
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." ~Benjamin Franklin
In my eleven years as a wife and mother, I've come to the conclusion that all wives/moms must be insane. We spend all day doing dishes only to find full sinks before we head off to bed. We fold mounds of laundry only to find full laundry baskets the next day. We pick up shoes, hang up jackets, vacuum, dust and clean bathrooms just to find everything back how we found it before we set out to clean it.
It's been a whole month since I started Week One of my Rita Project (I know, I know). I knew my resolution to boost energy and get healthy was going to be one of the hardest parts of my project, but I had no idea that it would take everything I had to just get the ball rolling and keep it in a straight line.
I never realized how much I used food to "feel better." When I would get behind on housework, I'd suggest eating out for two reasons: 1) the food would be good and I wasn't the one cooking it and 2) no additional mess! So if the kitchen was clean, I'd suggest dinner out so it might actually stay that way. Avoid insanity.
I was also really bad about using food to calm my nerves. Life in the military is stressful, to say the least, and when everything that civilians take for granted as "constants" in their lives are constantly changing in ours, food was my "constant." Food and family. I can't think of anything more comforting and reassuring than sitting down with Chris and the kids around the dinner table to smoked pork ribs or pulled pork sandwiches, mac-n-cheese (the baked kind with the crusty top) and a cold glass of sweet tea to wash it down. No matter what bad news came or what plans changed, after dinner I'd be calm and would be able to say to myself, "Everything is going to be ok." And what about when something would hit the fan in the middle of the day and there were no ribs or roasts in the smoker? That's easy! Dr. Pepper to the rescue! It cures knotted stomachs, massive migraines and rattled nerves. Pair it with a big bag of cinnamon bears or Twizzlers and you have the worlds cheapest, most readily available anti-anxiety/anti-depressant.
But the ultimate obstacle I have faced is the reason why America as a whole struggles with obesity and poor health: being fit and healthy takes time . . . and money. In order to reap the full benefits of fruits and veggies, they have to be consumed raw, fresh and organic. Organic in general is more expensive than the food that's been chemically treated with preservatives and pesticides. But buying fresh and organic means that, until you establish a new grocery shopping routine, you're going to be throwing out a lot of limp veggies. Add to that the cost (time and money) of driving to the grocery store three times a week. Sure we save money by not buying meats and dairy products, but until we figure out this new lifestyle (how long things last, what tastes good and what we just can't bring ourselves to eat), we'll be putting money in the garbage in the form of dead veggies. On top of the food itself, there are all these new things I had to buy to prepare the food. No more pots and pans, but instead we had to buy a mandolin slicer, a heavy duty food processor, a juicer and a wok. All I have to say is thank goodness for Ikea : )
We already broke our juicer, by the way. We can't afford the good ones, so we had to buy the best we could for under $100. Needless to say, I don't think you can actually buy a good juicer for under $100 and actually use it every day.
So where was I . . . . oh yes, time and money. Money for better quality food that will eventually even out once we learn how to plan better and aren't filling our cart with staples like nutritional yeast and grape seed oil. Money we'll save when we can eventually fork over the $2,500 for a Norwalk juicer. Spend now, save later (I could fill my closet with Fluevog's for less than that, but that's ok). And TIME, oh my goodness. Making humus takes over 24 hours doing it the right way. Pizza takes even longer. I've never been good at planning meals, so I've nearly thrown in the towel several times and just driven to McD's after realizing at 4pm that the dinner I want to fix takes eight hours to prepare.
And that's just the food part. Being fit is a whole other ball game. One big advantage of living on a large military installation is a free gym with free childcare. But they certainly don't make it easy to access.
One thing you should know about me is that, with exercise, motivation doesn't come naturally. And when motivation does come, I have to seize it and start using it immediately or it will fizzle and die, never to be heard from again. I was blessed with motivation in the form of a friend inviting me to spinning class last week. I didn't even know they offered it! I was super stoked and ready to jump right in, but . . . oh wait . . . my kids weren't registered with CYS (Child & Youth Services). If you're military, you're probably like "WHAT?! That's the FIRST thing you do when you move!" Yes, I know the only way for military kids to do ANYTHING is to register with CYS
Time. . . money. . . patience. . . persistence.
Let it go.
Do it now.
Told you those commandments would come in handy. . . I got this : )
It's been a whole month since I started Week One of my Rita Project (I know, I know). I knew my resolution to boost energy and get healthy was going to be one of the hardest parts of my project, but I had no idea that it would take everything I had to just get the ball rolling and keep it in a straight line.
I never realized how much I used food to "feel better." When I would get behind on housework, I'd suggest eating out for two reasons: 1) the food would be good and I wasn't the one cooking it and 2) no additional mess! So if the kitchen was clean, I'd suggest dinner out so it might actually stay that way. Avoid insanity.
I was also really bad about using food to calm my nerves. Life in the military is stressful, to say the least, and when everything that civilians take for granted as "constants" in their lives are constantly changing in ours, food was my "constant." Food and family. I can't think of anything more comforting and reassuring than sitting down with Chris and the kids around the dinner table to smoked pork ribs or pulled pork sandwiches, mac-n-cheese (the baked kind with the crusty top) and a cold glass of sweet tea to wash it down. No matter what bad news came or what plans changed, after dinner I'd be calm and would be able to say to myself, "Everything is going to be ok." And what about when something would hit the fan in the middle of the day and there were no ribs or roasts in the smoker? That's easy! Dr. Pepper to the rescue! It cures knotted stomachs, massive migraines and rattled nerves. Pair it with a big bag of cinnamon bears or Twizzlers and you have the worlds cheapest, most readily available anti-anxiety/anti-depressant.
But the ultimate obstacle I have faced is the reason why America as a whole struggles with obesity and poor health: being fit and healthy takes time . . . and money. In order to reap the full benefits of fruits and veggies, they have to be consumed raw, fresh and organic. Organic in general is more expensive than the food that's been chemically treated with preservatives and pesticides. But buying fresh and organic means that, until you establish a new grocery shopping routine, you're going to be throwing out a lot of limp veggies. Add to that the cost (time and money) of driving to the grocery store three times a week. Sure we save money by not buying meats and dairy products, but until we figure out this new lifestyle (how long things last, what tastes good and what we just can't bring ourselves to eat), we'll be putting money in the garbage in the form of dead veggies. On top of the food itself, there are all these new things I had to buy to prepare the food. No more pots and pans, but instead we had to buy a mandolin slicer, a heavy duty food processor, a juicer and a wok. All I have to say is thank goodness for Ikea : )
We already broke our juicer, by the way. We can't afford the good ones, so we had to buy the best we could for under $100. Needless to say, I don't think you can actually buy a good juicer for under $100 and actually use it every day.
So where was I . . . . oh yes, time and money. Money for better quality food that will eventually even out once we learn how to plan better and aren't filling our cart with staples like nutritional yeast and grape seed oil. Money we'll save when we can eventually fork over the $2,500 for a Norwalk juicer. Spend now, save later (I could fill my closet with Fluevog's for less than that, but that's ok). And TIME, oh my goodness. Making humus takes over 24 hours doing it the right way. Pizza takes even longer. I've never been good at planning meals, so I've nearly thrown in the towel several times and just driven to McD's after realizing at 4pm that the dinner I want to fix takes eight hours to prepare.
And that's just the food part. Being fit is a whole other ball game. One big advantage of living on a large military installation is a free gym with free childcare. But they certainly don't make it easy to access.
One thing you should know about me is that, with exercise, motivation doesn't come naturally. And when motivation does come, I have to seize it and start using it immediately or it will fizzle and die, never to be heard from again. I was blessed with motivation in the form of a friend inviting me to spinning class last week. I didn't even know they offered it! I was super stoked and ready to jump right in, but . . . oh wait . . . my kids weren't registered with CYS (Child & Youth Services). If you're military, you're probably like "WHAT?! That's the FIRST thing you do when you move!" Yes, I know the only way for military kids to do ANYTHING is to register with CYS
Time. . . money. . . patience. . . persistence.
Let it go.
Do it now.
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